🤦‍♂️ The Flying Pickle

What you’ll find in this week’s newsletter:

• 🤦‍♂️ The Flying Pickle [True Story]

• 🚨 Why Nivea’s Crappy Bow Works (And How You Could Do it Better)

• 🗞️ Latest Amazon News and Updates

• 🧐 Amazon Sellers Naughty Tipping Scheme

• 🔥 Your Money May Be Trapped In Plain Sight [Actionable Tip]

This newsletter is sponsored by:

Hey Beardos,

I wanted to quickly mention, friend of the podcast, Mark De Grasse just launched a new book - Always on Brand. If you’d like to support an incredible marketer, you can check out the book here.

😱 THE FLYING PICKLE [True Story] 

Being in Montreal last week reminded me of this story from the early 90s.

It was an early morning rush to catch my flight for a trade show.

I grabbed my shoes, a suit, and headed to the hotel.

Everything seemed fine until we went out for dinner that evening.

We were headed to this restaurant called Gibby’s—a famous steakhouse in Montreal.

Funny enough, Kevin King and I went to the same place recently.

Gibby’s is known for its steak but also their bread and pickles that they bring to the table.

As we’re getting ready to leave for dinner, I realized something was off—I was wearing two left shoes.

It was uncomfortable, but I could still walk, so I decided to just roll with it.

If you happened to look down, it was very obvious something wasn’t right.

There I was, in a suit, heading to a nice dinner with my partners… in two left shoes.

We got to Gibby’s, sat down, and the waiter brought out the bread and pickles.

I’ve been looking forward to this all week.

I went to cut one of the pickles, holding it steady with my fork, and—BAM!—the pickle flipped right off my plate and flew through the air.

I felt like I was watching it in slow motion.

It soared through the air right into someone’s mashed potatoes.

I sat there frozen.

The whole restaurant was silent.

The waiters started laughing, and then my partner said, “If you think that’s crazy, the guy’s wearing two left shoes!”

Now everyone in the restaurant was looking at me.

The restaurant erupted.

It was one of those moments you never forget—awkward, hilarious, and a little embarrassing all at the same time.

Somehow it brought us all together.

Anyway, just a little memory from back in the day in Montreal.

Business lesson:

Even when things don’t go as planned (like wearing two left shoes), show up and handle the situation with confidence.

In business, focus on what matters and let the small things roll off your back.

Enjoy the rest of the newsletter.

— Norm

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🗞️ AMAZON NEWS & UPDATES 🗞️

WHY NIVEA’S CRAPPY BOW WORKS (AND HOW YOU CAN DO IT BETTER)

Have you noticed what big brands are doing on Amazon for the holiday season? 

Take this example, Nivea after shave balm (aka, a product that Norm would never need to buy) 

Yep, that crappy looking bow super imposed onto Nivea's main image is live on Amazon right now.  

And while it might look… less than stellar, let’s not forget, Nivea is no joke.This $7 billion-dollar brand just hit record annual sales in its 113-year history.

So, what’s the deal with the bow?

1. It makes their main image stand out on Amazon which is the name of the game to win clicks. 

2. It reframes the product in the shopper’s mind.That sensitive-soothing-post-shave-balm now becomes a thoughtful gift (just not for Norm or for any true Beardos).

Here’s the real kicker: You can do the same thing for your listings, for free.

Want to know how?

Create AI Eye Candy with ProductPinion’s Variationizer Tool

(Now say that heading 3 times fast) 

In a nutshell, the tool can create any asset you can think of (not just holiday stuff) with no background, perfect to add to your main image. 

So, say we needed a red gift bow: 

Boom! Just like magic, you have some AI Eye Candy read to go and make your Amazon main image stand out.  

And, get a closer look at the results: 

No need to split test this one - the ProductPinion one on the right is definitely less crappier 

Yes, somebody really needs to give Nivea’s brand manager a call. And if you’re curious to test this feature for yourself, you can go to www.variationizer.com (it’s 100% free while in beta) 

And just like any cheesy infomercial, But wait.. there’s more! 

Matt’s giving away over 100 of these AI holiday assets for FREE.

We’re not just talking ribbons and bows either. You can kick things up a notch with candy canes, garlands, flowers, stockings, mistletoe, and more.

Each one comes as a transparent PNG, ready to instantly upgrade your Amazon main image and win the click.

🚨🚨 Download the Holiday Bundle Here

🧐 AMAZON SELLER’S NAUGHTY TIPPING SCHEME

Some sellers misuse platform tools to request tips.

One Redditor reported finding a "tip" option in the product customization section, raising concerns about improper practices.

Sellers aren’t allowed to add tipping options this way, though customers could proceed without tipping.

Some speculated the tip might speed up shipping, but no evidence supported this.

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS THE BEARD GUY?

Can you find Norm in the picture below? Scroll to the bottom of this newsletter to see the answer!

WHAT YOU MISSED LAST WEEK!

Amazon Suspensions Are Destroying Sellers – Don’t Be Next! With Joy Williams

Here’s 10 Takeaways From This Episode:

1. Monitor Your Account Health Daily and Act Immediately:

   • Log into your Amazon account health dashboard every day. Address flagged ASINs or minor violations immediately to prevent escalation. Set alerts or reminders to ensure this is a consistent habit.

2. Validate Suppliers and Their Documentation:

   • Before listing a product, verify your suppliers’ credentials. Request detailed invoices, certificates of authenticity, or compliance documents. Avoid vague or unverifiable sources to mitigate the risk of counterfeit allegations.

3. Audit Your Listings Quarterly:

   • Regularly review all aspects of your product listings (titles, descriptions, images, back-end keywords). Remove competitor brand names, unsubstantiated claims (e.g., “medical-grade”), or anything that could flag non-compliance.

4. Prepare for Amazon’s Updated Bundling Policies:

   • If you sell mixed-brand bundles, transition to compliant bundles before the January 1 deadline. Ensure your bundles are pre-packaged by the manufacturer or clearly labeled to meet Amazon’s new standards.

5. Set Up a Financial Safety Net:

   • Reserve at least 3-6 months’ worth of operational costs and personal expenses in case of delayed payouts or suspension. Diversify income streams by adding DTC websites or alternative platforms like Walmart to reduce dependency on Amazon.

6. Use the Voice of the Customer (VOC) Tool Proactively:

   • Monitor common complaints via Amazon’s VOC tool. If you notice recurring issues (e.g., “damaged packaging” or “incorrect item”), act immediately by improving product packaging or revising your listing.

7. Order and Test Your Own Products:

   • Conduct stress tests on your products, particularly those prone to damage during shipping (e.g., temperature-sensitive items or fragile goods). Ensure they meet quality expectations under different conditions.

8. Avoid Using Hacks or Blackhat Strategies:

   • Steer clear of shortcuts like unauthorized keyword stuffing or manipulating reviews. Even if they seem effective short-term, they often result in permanent suspensions.

9. Create a Suspension Action Plan:

   • Prepare a “suspension kit” including templates for appeals, contacts for Amazon specialists (e.g., Seller Basics), and an inventory of all necessary documentation (e.g., invoices, compliance certificates). Act quickly if an issue arises.

10. Understand FDA Regulations for Health & Beauty Products:

• Research regulatory standards (e.g., FDA or EU compliance) for any products with health claims. Ensure your packaging and product descriptions are fully compliant before listing.

🚨Use code: NORM to save $10/month for as long as you remain a member of Seller Basics

Watch the full episode here

Make 2025 your biggest year ever by launching your business on Walmart Marketplace. 

With the holiday shopping season underway, millions of loyal Walmart customers are already on Walmart.com looking to fulfill their gift lists.

Unlike other platforms, Walmart Marketplace offers:

• $0 monthly or setup fees

• Powerful, easy-to-use eCommerce solutions designed for growth

• Walmart’s unique omnichannel advantage

To get your products within reach of motivated peak-season shoppers, create your account today. 

😱 YOUR MONEY MAY BE TRAPPED IN PLAIN SIGHT

Inventory is the heartbeat of any e-commerce business. 

Get it wrong, and you'll find yourself trapped in a cycle of cash flow challenges and missed opportunities.

By implementing these strategies, you'll gain clarity, improve cash flow, and make more informed business decisions.

Here’s what you need to know:

1. Know Your True Inventory Value ✅

• Track the actual cost of goods

• Monitor inventory value across all warehouses

• Understand how each product contributes to your bottom line

2. Master the Inventory Turnover Ratio ✅ 

• Calculate how quickly you sell and replace inventory

• Identify slow-moving products

• Develop strategies to minimize dead stock

3. Implement Multi-Warehouse Tracking ✅ 

• Track inventory across different locations

• Reconcile with platform reports (e.g., Amazon FBA)

• Ensure accuracy in your inventory management

4. Analyze Inventory Age Critically ✅

• Track how long products sit unsold

• Set clear thresholds for product lifecycle

• Create proactive liquidation strategies

5. Integrate Accounting and Operations ✅ 

• Use consistent inventory valuation methods

• Align operational inventory counts with accounting records

• Create a unified view of your business health

ConnectBooks' new Inventory Tool simplifies this process by automating the numbers that you need. 

For a limited time now we're offering a free 30-day trial to help you take control of your inventory.

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Use code: INVENTORYTRUTH to get started!

5 TIPS TO FIX YOUR AGENCY TODAY!

Here are 5 TIPS from this episode!

1. Focus on the First 30–60 Days for Retention: The most critical period for retaining clients is the initial onboarding. Celebrate small wins early, such as launching campaigns or achieving the first sale.

2. Prioritize Case Studies Quickly: For new agencies, prioritize creating 5–10 case studies as fast as possible. Offer free or discounted services to build a proven track record, which is essential for attracting larger clients and charging higher retainers.

3. Implement a Client Status System: Use a simple tracking system like “Green, Yellow, Red” to assess client accounts. If an account turns “Yellow” or “Red,” involve a senior team member immediately to address issues and improve results.

4. Develop and Update SOPs Constantly: Standardize and document processes to ensure quality and efficiency across the team. Regularly update your SOPs as market trends, tools, and client needs evolve.

5. Leverage Top-of-Funnel Strategies: Commit to at least one consistent top-of-funnel strategy, such as newsletters, podcasts, or LinkedIn content. Focus on providing free value to establish authority and build trust over time.

🚨 Watch the full episode here

MARK DOWN THESE EVENTS! 

Amazing Days

Apr 28 - Sofia, Bulgaria - Starting at €99

Traffic & Conversions

Mar 11 - 13 - Las Vegas - Starting at $1295

MDS Inspire

Mar 24 - Las Vegas - $1495

Prosper Show

Mar 25 - 27 - Las Vegas - Starting $399

→ FULL CALENDAR ←

And that’s it, Beardos!

P.S. Make sure you don’t miss any updates by joining our community here.

See you next Monday!

- Norm

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